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HOT DADS

by Mace Avam

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1.
Labels 06:00
You left your cardigan here with me Before you went back home to sleep You made me twirl and said it suits me, I could have it now to keep. We made a trade of little sundries, Binder clips and business cards Although it seemed a little early To be reaping the rewards. Now I’m not old or wise, I’m just a pair of eyes But you could be a bit more organised. You stumble on the line between what’s yours and mine And do you always leave your things behind? Damn, You should put some labels on ‘em That way you can always know You should put some labels on ‘em Then you’ll know where things should go All my Virgos love their labels, They keep the boundaries crystal clear So you should put some labels on ‘em, Put some labels on your clothes, cuz I can’t fit them all here. You left another shirt at my place, A button-down that’s long and black I wonder when you leave your shit here If it means you’re coming back. I fear I’m headed for a meltdown, That I’ll do something immature. Til I breath deep and I remind myself Everything I know for sure:
 The night we had was fire It brought me higher and higher My common sense is clouded with discharge I know this much is real: I’d borrow beg and steal To have you and the way you make me feel. Babe, We should put a label on it That way I can always know We should put a label on it Then I won’t cry when you go All my gurlfriends love their labels, They keep the boundaries crystal clear So we should put a label on it, Put a label on this thing to ruin its veneer. Oh no, no don’t, don’t you treat me like another drunk mistake Don’t you tell me all the things you made me want were fake Tell me that there’s more to all of this than how you make me feel Cuz now it feels like All I am to you are the things you take, And that’s my role: A wallet, a bottle, a hole. Now you put out the fires You play to my desires A tower of promises owned by offshore buyers: You won’t do that again, your eyes are opening To how profoundly cocked up you have been... ...Bullshit. You can put a label on it You can say you’re self aware You can put a label on it You can hide your problems but you can’t hide how little you care I can put a label on it I can write and I can read I can see we’re getting nowhere I will wait a million nights and never get the things I need I can put a label on it Oh my gosh I think I’ve got it, I know what we’re called: We’re fucking and that’s all. That's all...
2.
DR/MR 02:45
Who’s that cloak in a booth at the back of the bar? Who’s that bloke so fond of his ale, with buddies who can pay his debts? Who’s that asshat dancing around Who paces up and down and frets and puts his arm around me every chance he gets? He works his charm, I heave a sigh, And all night long he makes me cry: Oh Mister, Oh Mister where have you been? You’ve got me hooked on original sin I turn fourteen at the thought of your touch You made my night and I’m gonna miss you oh so much. What’s this stagecoach doing in front of my house? Who’s that stain in the back of the cab who beckons me to pay the fare? What’s this malt he tilts to my lips That leaves me feeling kinda weird? I wake up in the morning and he’s disappeared. My money’s gone, and so’s my wine And all week long I sit and pine: Oh Mister, Oh Mister where have you been? I need my hit of original sin I feel so faint and I’m weak in the knees, But I’m also broke, could I come get my VISA please? Who’s that silhouette at the top of the stairs? Who’s this gentleman opening the door? A face I know I’ve seen before but never in the day. So neatly dressed in freshly pressed Pajamas from The Bay, Who tips his hat and takes my hand, and wishes I could stay, were he not ill. (I drink him in:) His feet are bare, his legs are bones, His grip is firm and warm, his wrists are marred His eyes are bright with fear and shame As he hands me back my credit card. Oh Doctor, oh Doctor, where have you been? A man removed from original sin If this is how you used to be before, I pray to God I’ll see you more Oh Doctor, Oh Mister, what did you say? This letter here says you’re going away You’re breaking my heart but you can’t break the pull I want to ride the bull and save the cowboy OH DR, OH MR (I want you both) OH DR, OH MR (I want you both) OH DR, OH MR, I want you both.
3.
Re: 04:25
If I saw you on the subway, And you happened to be all alone, I would sidle up against you and stare until you looked up from your phone. Then I’d gaze in your eyes Til you jumped in surprise To register a human face, much less a face you knew. I’d reach heaven at last As you cordially asked, “How are you?” And then when I was done, You’d say “This is my son," (he's also here) "We were going out for dinner, You should come! Our stop is here.” Then we’d chat about things And we’d all go for wings And you would drink club soda instead of beer. If I saw you on the subway, And your woman was along for the ride, I would size her up covertly And take notes on what it means to be your bride. And I’d try not to stare As you sat with her there With those yellow bags from No Frills In a pile around your feet. I’d peer over my book And admit you both look kinda sweet. I’d bear witness to life, Man and common-law wife, discussing the banalities of chores and family. Then I’d watch as you leave, And be glad you achieved A healthy life, with her instead of me. If I saw you on the subway, And you happened to be all alone, I would push past all the people And I’d sidle up against you And say everything I’ve held back And I’d say a little more: How I miss our little visits, How it’s great to see you sober How if no red seats were empty Then I’d kneel down on the floor I would clench my hands around your knees And with hardly any warning, I’d pull out your c*ck and I’d suck it while the whole train watched, Like you told me to When you emailed me At 1:29 in the morning.

4.
D.I.L.F. 03:24
Get a load of you, Loading up the Outback Grey around the temples from ten too many years. Looking good in plaid, Rocking out that dad bod Squishy in the middle from ten too many beers. Walking through the heart of town, Our neighbours stare us down from head to toe When we go hand in hand. All the dirty looks we’re getting All those haters from your wedding know, they got to go! Cuz they don’t understand. I told my friends about you and they thought I was joking. When I showed them your picture they said “What are you smoking?” They ask is it the power or prestige that attracts me? Is it money? Is it love? None of the above! CHORUS (2x) You’re a Dad Dad I’d Dad I’d Like Dad I’d Like To... ... take out on a date While the kids are sleeping Give you one more wild night of fun you can’t afford. Working night and day, Gee you look so tired, babe Payday’s on the way, so come get your reward. Don’t you want a little girl To mend you up and take away your pains, Who does as she is told? Bend you back and roll you out and Strip you down to nothing but your Hanes® And shield you from the cold? You take me to rehearsal where your buddies all greet ya And all the old professors see you with your Lolita They wonder is it power or prestige that attracts me, or the chance that I might sit in at your show? No. CHORUS INTERLUDE CHORUS
5.
I was a girl with a book in a crowded bar, sitting alone I couldn't bear one more night with a book in my big empty home Two glasses in, and I'm sharing a laugh with a friend of a friend of a friend I catch the eye of a stranger who's ready to drink himself into the end Why do I fall when a sensible woman would push his advances away? I see goodness and kindness in his eyes, They light up the room When he talks of his boy. I ask what he's like, I hear him say: "He is the Light in the Dark He is my sun and my stars He is the reason I live out my days And he is the reason we can't go back to my place." My man at home will be happy to know I went out and had fun. He knows that working a room is much easier said than is done. It's nights such as this, when he's out on the road and I'm out running all over town, I think of him toiling away and I know in my heart I'm just bringing him down. Why does he like me and why does he stay? What good could I possibly be? He sees goodness and kindness when I can't, And now in the twilight, in this tangle of limbs, It dawns on me: He is the Light in the Dark He is my sun and my stars He is the reason I live out my days, And you're just a number I wrote on a napkin You're just attention that went to my head. Who are you really? How did you win me? Why did you take me, Only to leave me Lying in nakedness, watching you walk out the door, wanting more, With a mess on my desk and my legs and my breasts and my neck and my face and the floor? My man at home won't be happy. I was content in the dark You were a poorly timed spark I had a reason to live out my days Til one little light in the dark turned my future to gray.
6.
Marco Polo 03:24
He said to call him but he never picked up. History's great explorer Grown tired of oceans and land, Batons in hand, Coming off a voyage into port Looking for fun, something sweet, something short. I was a young lady, drunk off her ass Never paid any attention in class Here was this relic, lost at sea The danger and depth of him lost on me. What was his name again? (He said to call him but he never picked up) How will I ever know Where did he go? From one pole to the other To find a cure for his needs Tonics and weeds Hearing his name and shrinking away, Resenting his life being put on display: "Everybody knows my name, And I feel so ashamed of the things I've said and done. You've come into my hiding place And now it's time to go, So let's just keep this on the down-low, None has to know..." (whoa-oh) What was his name again? (He said to call him but he never picked up) That age is in the dark now. He said to call him... (*disappointed peep at forgetting name*) He said to call him but he never picked up (3x) He said to call him, RIGHT NOW. Everybody knows his name And I feel so ashamed of this thing I've gone and done. What would he say if he could hear me? "Man, why are you hung up on the past? Did I not give you what you asked for? You asked for passion, for intrigue, For one night and one night alone, And so I gave you all I had to give (Which wasn't much) But now you're here again, telling the story again and again years and years after it happened, With me as the villain! Please remember I'm a person, Please remember I've had a hard life within the community because of my illness, Please be kind--" Fine! But allow me at least to always remember you... ...what was his name again? He said to call him but he never picked up (8x)

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released November 22, 2019

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Mace Avam Toronto, Ontario

MACE AVAM (pronounced 'MACE EY-vum') is a quirky 90s kid alt-rock band from Toronto, Ontario. Our debut EP HOT DADS streams on Bandcamp November 22nd.

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